Lisa Hoffman & Charles Atkins

Published February 16, 2006

Charlie writes:

I’m at the computer when the phone rings. It’s Lisa. Before I can say, "how are you?" She’s off and running.

"It’s harder and harder for people who get on in age to find a place to live, which they can afford." She begins.

"What are you talking about?" I say.

"I feel like I’m being discriminated against because I’m not as physically able as I once was. Let me give you an example. It started 24 years ago when I moved to a place that identified itself for people over 55 who were ‘active adults’. What does that mean ‘active adult’? I remember I used to walk all the way from my condo to town and the library and back again. But there comes a time for all of us when we’re no longer ‘active’, at least in that sense. Many people fail to recognize that we’re all vulnerable. For instance, when I first came here the walkway leading to my condo, what you call the goat path, was at a steep incline and didn’t have any banister or railing to hold onto. It’s treacherous during bad weather, especially when there’s ice. When I suggested installing a railing I was told I would have to pay for it. This went on for quite a while, but I was determined not to jeopardize my well being. I finally told them that I would indeed pay for it, if they would cover the cost of my accident."

"Okay," I say, "Why are you bringing all of this up now?"

"Because there is a battle brewing in my retirement community where those who make the rules—The Master Association—want to charge residents who need help getting down from their condos to transportation for medical appointments. They’d like to bill us twenty dollars each time this assistance to a waiting vehicle is given. When they discovered that doing this would be discriminatory they then attempted to do away with this service all together. The particular case is getting a fair amount of coverage in the press and involves a man who was partially paralyzed following an accident. But this would also affect me and quite a few other residents. I think the case is being brought to the attention of the state’s Attorney General, whom I may give a call to offer my two cent’s worth."

She then adds, "I called one woman who’d written a letter to the editor of a local paper, and her comment was, ‘why live in an adult community if you can run around like a gazelle?’ She’s right, one of the many reasons people move to places like this is with an eye to the future and to being in a home that buffers some of the harsh realities of getting older."

As Lisa talks I think about an advertisement I saw in The New York Times Magazine. It was for ‘Active Adult Living’ and the picture showed a spry silver-haired couple walking briskly along a rocky coast. They seemed set for an invigorating round of golf, tennis or some other light-aerobic workout. They were the poster couple for the golden years.

"It’s like were expected to fit some mold," Lisa says. "If we deviate what then? Are we going to be cast adrift on an ice float? Or are we supposed to quietly whither away? Many people who live here are on a fixed income and cannot afford to move to pricey life-care facilities."

"There is of course another side to this discussion," I say.

"Yes," she admits, "Some people in the past have dropped their older relatives who could not care for themselves into this community thinking that it provided services that it doesn’t. We call it ‘granny dumping’. Sometimes social service agencies have to get called in, and so I can see how there is another side. But getting away from those extreme cases, we’re left with many older individuals like me, who are desperately trying to maintain their independence. Going from this happy ideal of the ‘active adult’ to the not-so-active adult happens in stages. Plus, I’m still not clear on what the rules are for being active."

"I wonder if there isn’t something else behind this apparent discrimination." I say. "As I’m typing," I tell her, "I keep looking at this couple in the The Times ad. They represent an ideal, kind of like the air-brushed beauty of a model in Vogue. The reality of needing security guards to help get us into a car is not a great promotion for the golden years. Maybe I think too much like a psychiatrist, but I wonder if what you’re talking about, in terms of declining physical health and ability, people find too scary and uncomfortable. They don’t want to hear about it and they certainly don’t want to see it."

"That may well be," she says. "But it’s part of the reality of getting old. Just because people would rather not think about it, doesn’t make it go away. But the truth of getting older, and much older, is that many of the things once taken for granted become inaccessible. I hate that I always have to ask people to do things for me that were once so easy. My mail box is down a steep flight of stairs, and even the Activity Center and Meeting House are no longer options for me, because they’re not really handicap accessible. I used to love going to see concerts and other events held in them. Of course, while I’m no longer able to access many of the wonderful enticements of this retirement community, I like every other resident, still pay for them."

"So what’s the bottom line in all of this?" I ask.

"I guess what I’d like is a bit more compassion and consideration for those who’ve lived here for many years and have contributed to this community. This is very much my home, and while I might no longer be the briskly jogging ‘active adult’ suitable for whatever they’re selling in The New York Times I am part of a growing sector of older Americans."

"Okay," I say, "but if you’re not the ‘active adult’ what are you?"

"Hmmm." She ponders, "Well, I’ve still got my wits; I’m quite involved in what’s going on around me. I continue to do these columns, albeit with help. I guess, I still consider myself an active adult, even though I have physical limitations."

"I agree, so what’s the answer then?" I ask referring back to her opening scenario about the proposed loss of transport services.

"It seems obvious," she says, "and it’s funny how throughout my very long life the answer doesn’t change. This is just another example of prejudice and injustice, and as always, the answer is to get involved, make your voice heard, and fight for what is right and what is fair."

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