The Importance of Being Persistent

Lisa Hoffman and Charles Atkins

Published November 4, 2004

Charlie writes:

"I spend so much of my time on the phone trying to get things done," Lisa comments, from her Riser chair. "And if I don’t, people walk all over me."

I know," I say, seated in the rocker with my laptop, as I try to talk and write. "It’s a fine line between being assertive and being obnoxious. But if we don’t stick up for ourselves all kinds of badness happens."

"It’s not just that, but it’s also good stuff. Like the time I took a picture of my friend’s pet raccoon; her name was Pandora.

"Your friend?"

"No, the raccoon. Anyway, I took a very thin cookie, showed it to Pandora and with her following at my heels, I went over to a set of encyclopedias and wedged the cookie next to the volume labeled "R". The second I stepped away Pandora stretched up and grabbed for it. I snapped a photograph that made it seem as though she were looking up her ancestry. I called it "No Home should be Without One". And sent it to the people at Encyclopedia Britannica as I thought it would make a wonderful advertisement.

"And?"

"Well they wrote back, and asked how much I’d charge for the photo. I told them $250—it was quite a while ago—and they returned it saying they had ‘no budget’. But being persistent, I called them and said, ‘this picture is custom-made for you, maybe we could work something out.’ So in exchange for the picture I got a whole new set of encyclopedias, which even back then was worth more than the $250.

"I’ve had similar experiences," I say, "where if you don’t ask for what you want, you certainly won’t get it, but if you do, sometimes good things happen. I was giving a stress-reduction seminar in Vermont and the organizers were putting me up in a beautiful ski lodge in Killington; they’d even included an extra night. So I was very much looking forward to a few days sitting by the fire, doing some writing and looking out at the mountains. But when I got there, they sent me down to a basement room that faced the dumpster. Not my idea of the fantasy get away. So, figuring nothing ventured nothing gained, I went back to the front desk to see if they had a better room…preferably with a view. And sure enough I went from the basement to a suite on the top floor with a fireplace and an unobstructed view of the slopes."

"If you don’t ask you don’t get." She comments.

"And if you do ask, the worst that can happen is they say ‘no’."

"Did I tell you about this business I once ran in New York called Chutzpah Phone Service?" she asks.

"Some, but what was it?"

"I advertised ‘all the calls you wanted to make but were afraid to dial’. You’d be surprised how many people are in that position, whether it’s asking the boss for a raise, trying to find out if your boyfriend is cheating, or telling a colleague she smells badly and should use deodorant. My services ran the gamut and for this I charged a small fee."

"Give me an example."

"Okay…I remember an editor of mine one day asked me to make a Chutzpah call for her. She’d come from a cocktail party and wasn’t in full control of her faculties when she saw a beautiful wolf coat in a boutique for several thousand dollars. She went in, charged it, and even had it altered. The next day--when she was sober--she changed her mind and wanted me to get her out of the deal. ‘You have to make a Chutzpah call for me’. So I dialed the store and asked for the manageress. I think she was Russian; she had a very thick accent. I approached her by saying, ‘may I tell you something in confidence?’ which always gets someone’s attention. And with a throb in my voice, I told her how my daughter--who has a terrible drinking problem—bought the coat and wouldn’t be able to pay for it. I asked her if she’d please let her return the coat and release her from her obligation. By the time I finished the woman was in tears, and said, "Of course. I am a mother too."

"You sure you want that in the paper?" I ask.

"Why not? It was many years ago."

"But you kind of tricked her."

"So what? Sometimes you have to. But a lot of times it’s not just being assertive…or even obnoxious; it’s persistence that pays off and not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Like with your last publicist getting you a feature in the Hartford Courant."

"That’s a good example. My second book was coming out and Teri—my then publicist—was determined to get me into as many newspapers as possible. She ended up calling their arts editor every day for a month, until finally she left a message saying, ‘you know why I’m calling. If you’re interested call me back.’ The next day he did, and I wound up with nearly a full-page spread and a huge color photo."

"It’s also important," Lisa adds, "to go to the top. Because people below that, often don’t have the authority, the knowledge or the desire to get things done. You have to get to the president or the CEO of the company…or politicians. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve called or written to the Governor, the attorney General or whoever I think can help resolve the situation. With the craziness and changes to ConnPace and Medicare I’ve put Nancy Johnson’s office on my speed dial"

"Do you get her?"

"No. I usually get one of her aides."

"Does it help?"

She makes a face, "not so much. It’s gotten totally confusing with that new medical card. Now some politicians—like Joe Lieberman—or even our first selectman Mark Cooper—they make a point of personally answering all of their letters; I have quite the collection. At present, I’m spending a lot of time on the Southbury Dog Pound Issue—that’s one of the things I was chatting with Mark Cooper about; he came to visit the other day. Our dog pound is in shameful condition. Now in the past, I’d be at every meeting, but that’s not possible. So I’ve become like Mohammad…or maybe I’m the mountain…and Mohammed must come to me. It’s interesting, how even confined to my home, I can still come in contact with many interesting people and still be involved with the issues I find important. Like with trying to figure out what Medicare doesn’t pay for. I called the Center for Medicare Advocacy (1-800-262-4414) because I wanted to be prepared in case my services from the visiting nurses would be taken away, which I absolutely need for my recovery. I’d been told by one of my therapists that it was up to Medicare to make that decision. But when I spoke to a lawyer at the Center she told me that the final decision rested with my doctor. And that if I had any problems to get back to her. And that they’d advocate on my behalf"

"A lot of people wouldn’t have made that phone call," I say.

"I know, I really think that if I didn’t know how to stick up for myself, I’d be a goner by now. But people need to be aware and be involved and to not have the attitude that you can’t fight city hall. Because you can fight city hall, and sometimes…you can even win."

[ Home ] [ Up ]